Today I started.
Today I leapt into the unknown, and paid for sex with a boy. A young(ish), sensible, intelligent woman paying for sex. And it’s probably one of the best ideas I’ve ever had.
His name was ‘Marco’, a young English lad of Italian decent. Dark features, olive skin, and a toned, tanned body. Not what I would normally go for, but finding a guy to have sex with a stranger at relatively short notice is actually quite impossible. Let alone finding anyone who might be ‘my type’.
I spent yesterday on the internet looking for male escorts, working myself into an aroused frenzy after seeing cock shot after cock shot on my screen, but very few faces. I thought that guys would be happy to be proclaimed sex workers – gigalos, horn dogs, getting high fives from guys in the locker room as they strut their stuff like the cock of the land – but from the ones I saw that seemed fairly intelligent, they’re just as cagey as your average Belle Du Jour. Any of the ones I found that had a profile that seemed funny, human, and down to earth had very little to show of themselves. Very disappointing.
But why this momentous decision, one sunny spring morning? There are many reasons, but to start with let’s blame a night out with the girls.
I had my heart seriously broken last year. I’ve had my heart seriously broken quite regularly for the last few years, so it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise. But it did. Since then, I have been in a fugue state when it comes to men. Not totally everything to do with men ever. I just don’t want to have any kind of relationship with one.
And it’s been wonderful!
I’ve thrown myself into my work, my hobbies, my friends and my family. I have so many balls juggling in the air that I have no idea where I will land them. I am independent, happy, and pretty well-off now I’m – what I jokingly class myself – a Young Professional.
But I have needs. Wants. Desires. And a lust for a kind of power that NSA ‘encounter’ sites just don’t offer.
I’ve spent many an evening throughout the years on those alternative dating sites. Ones which offer no strings sex, fun and encounters to horny adults. What they actually offer is a wealth of timewasters, disappointment and frustration.
I’m guessing the men on them believe the women will be hot, fit vixens in their mid twenties, desperate for cock. That’s not me. I’m 30, a bit portly, and only want cock occasionally, and mainly on my terms. So I very rarely even get a reply if I happen to throw my line out for a catch.
Also, they seem to want to get to know you. That’s so unfair! Don’t get to know me! If you ask me stuff, I’ll think you’re a lot more interested than you actually are! But no, the nice ones, the ones you actually want to be in contact with, are too nice, and just leave you…well..heartbroken.
Or the ones that don’t want to really bother with conversation ultimately come across as illiterate idiots, desperate for female contact and believing you should be grateful they messaged you. ‘Hey bb, ur not my sort but will make axeption cos ur tits lok good call me my cocks hard 4u rite now bb.’
So on Friday night, I was explaining how men constantly say to me ‘But you’re a woman! You can have sex whenever you want!’. That may be true, but I can’t have it with whoever I want. Yes, tragically I have standards.
Don’t get me wrong, they’re not pie in the sky standards, more warm Ginsters pasty standards. I have no inclination for muscle men. Uber toned bodies scare me. Fake tan and plucked eyebrows belong on girls. I like normal, everyday guys.
My list is pretty small. They should be –
White or Black
7″ cock or over.
No spaghetti dicks, or ones with a pinched foreskin (seriously guys, chop it off if it’s not coming all the way back. It just reminds me of Wilfred from the Bash Street kids)
So you see, I’m not looking for Brad Pitt. I don’t need anyone with the sexual prowess of Ron Jeremy. They don’t even need to be that imaginative in bed – no bells, chains, whistles or balls of any kind. Just normal, straight, sex. Yes, it would be nice if the end result was a mindblowing orgasm, but an orgasm will do me nonetheless.
Anyway, as girls do we got round to the fact that men have it so easy. And they do! Professional Escort Ladies have websites, agencies, proper listing sites with hundreds of girls of any shape, size, colour and creed.
Some of them have the best personalities too! With blogs, fun photos, twitter accounts… all the men just look like massive, arrogant dicks.
But we all agreed, it would be a lot easier if we could have that same kind of ‘catalogue’ for ourselves, and I got quite excited. Yes, what if I could get a guy I found moderately attractive, tell him everything I wanted- from vanilla, to the more extreme fantasies – and just meet him, when I said, for whatever I wanted. Bosh. Done. No worrying about ‘Oh, but he hasn’t called me!’ none of the usual fuss that goes with trying to meet a fuckbuddy, and it having to be on their terms as they have ‘other commitments’ (ie, other halves) that they have to give their time to. And, quite frankly, if I want more, I can get more. If I don’t, I don’t. It’s done, it’s dusted, everyone knows where they stand.
And they haven’t got a clue about me! They don’t know who I am, what I look like, nothing…Ok, I’m making myself out to be a troll -’They have to fuck me! Mwah ha ha!’ – No, of course they don’t. But it’s nice not to have to message them, and get rejected because they’ve seen something on my profile they don’t like. Here, I have no profile.
And no, I’m not a minger. I’m 30, 5’7, dress size 18, nice tits, good teeth, all my own fingers and toes. Somewhere along the line, I just don’t fit in with what guys want. But then, none of them fit in with what I want either..
So anyway, Marco. Lovely lad in his Mid-20′s. Built, and toned. Too toned for me, but he was the only one who answered my enquiry on time and was free this weekend. Oh, and he could accommodate. And he was very accommodating 😉
He offered to come in the shower with me, but my experience of shared showers is that one person gets wet, and the other one just stays cold. Besides, I wanted to make sure I was as clean as possible. The towels left something to be desired, but I don’t think a guy his age who seemed to be a little surprised by the whole thing, has fluffy towels on his mind.
I know what I’m doing. I know how to take a man by the hand and get started, which is what I had to do. In no way was he a professional,no armani suit and Verve Cliquet awaited my arrival, but I had paid £40 for the hour, so wasn’t really expecting it to.
However, after some initial kissing to warm us up, he soon got in the mood! A nice, smooth shaven cock and balls (freshly done, nice!) were under his boxers, and he was fit enough to hold my legs on his shoulders whilst fucking me hard. Delicious! And considering he was young, it wasn’t jack-rabbit sex either. The foreplay was indulgent, and – after some initial guidance from me – very satisfactory! Plus it’s so nice to to have to make it reciprocal..
Yes. I’m afraid not all girls like sucking cock. It’s where your pee comes out of.
Orgasm with cunnilingus, and another when we were in doggy. I think he was finding it hard not to cum, but I like mutual orgasms, so I did the whole ‘Ooh! Cum with me! Ooh yes!’ porno talk to give the wee lad a break.
Over and done with in less than 30 minutes. Perfect. Long, laborious sex doesn’t do much for me. I like a quick, hard, steamy fuck. Or at least, I did today. I can always change my mind 😉
But now I feel awesome! We had a lovely chat afterwards, and I gave him some tips on his profile, and hosting (just getting nice towels and girly shower gel. Not all ladies want to smell of Lynx Africa)
So yes, I’m shagged out. And probably at a cheaper cost than it would have been to find an average bloke!
So impressed am I at my new found ability to – basically – fuck whoever I want to, that I’ve started a blog! Wish me luck…